No Disappointment, Child

Probably everyone you ask will tell you about their life's disappointments - whethere they be big or small. No life is without a letdown or two (or more), so everyone has something to say on this subject.

Many of us are parents. The single greatest joy, and the single greatest gift in many of our lives are our children. Whether you have one or fifteen, each of your children is a unique and irreplaceable treasure. We sacrifice many things for them, including no small amount of sleep, and do so without complaint. And, if you think about it, we shouldn't complain, because someone did the same for us during the early years of our lives. Parents don't count the sleepless nights, the doctor and emergency room visits, the mistakes our children make at home and school as disappointments. No, they simply come with the territory of rearing a child.

I gave up many years ago expecting perfection from my children. After all, they are just as human as I am, and I make (and have made) plenty of mistakes. The hardest part of parenting, in my opinion, is letting your kid make these mistakes and learn from them - without interference from you. It's hard to watch someone you love more than yourself do something you know from experience is wrong or harmful to them. It's difficult beyond words afterwards to wait and see if they learn the lesson. They are individuals, after all. And to stifle their individuality and try to create them in your image is comparable to robbery. But we still have our little plans for their lives.

Current society tells us that our children should do well in grade school and move on to a post-secondary education, get their degree, find a career, marry (hopefully), and have a family. That's the prevailing expectation of a child from "the majority." These are what I call the great number of people who subscribe to the same worn out ideal of what leading a "good life" is.

What happens, though, when your child doesn't follow the majority plan? Do you love them any less for skipping college and getting a job? Are they a less valuable human being if they marry right out of high school and have children shortly thereafter? What of the ones who drop out of school, discover drugs and alcohol, and the growing population of young people who have done the same? Do we give up on them? Do we refuse to love them? Sadly, many parents, and people, do write these kids off. Why? Because they are "disappointments?"

A human being is not an expense on a ledger book. A person's worth is not determined by what piece of paper they hold from an accredited college or trade school. There is no line above which are the winners and below which are the losers. Every human being, every child, has worth. It is our job as parents to cultivate that worth while we have them with us. It is up to them to hold onto that worth and shape their lives as they see fit.

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